Jacinthe Jenna May 29, 2021 Spreadsheet
The former hangs like a transparent curtain four feet above the floor and shrink-wraps itself to anyone bold enough to attempt passing through. The latter represents a fragrant blend of beer, cheap cologne, and unkempt toilets, and assaults an unsuspecting visitor‘s nose like an aggressive index finger. By Saturday, the fragrance would be pungent enough to cause mere mortals to speak in tongues. Lance led the way with Lester in tow, dodging around dark figures that emerged from the nicotine and odoriferous fog. Lester had difficulty keeping up, licking the lenses of his glasses and tie-drying them as they wove their ways toward diffused light they assumed was the bar area where lusty women awaited.
So why does data that inevitably finds its way into a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet often suffer from the problems outlined above. The reasons are many. If the data is imported, it may have been sourced from a combination of other spreadsheets, databases, systems, reports, word documents, emails or web pages. If the data has been entered manually it may have been poorly done so by an inexperienced computer users such as administrative or junior staff with a lack of understanding for data structures. Excel is easy to use and widely accessible, so an inexperienced colleague can quite easily update your spreadsheet with a false sense of confidence and inadvertently enter new data incorrectly. And finally, unlike a fully functional software system, data entry in Excel generally has no automatic validating rules, unless carefully setup by the spreadsheet‘s creator.
When Microsoft Excel is used to manipulate, store and analyse data it can become extremely difficult to manage, let alone efficiently work to produce any meaningful insights. This is because with data sets large and small, the data must be meaningful, logical, structured, internally consistent and clean. This holds true regardless of whether the data has been imported into excel from another system or manually entered. In this computing age, most people know that for any data set to be useable it must first be relatively structured and clean. A spreadsheet and its table layout naturally encourages data to be somewhat structured, however ensuring data is clean is also difficult.
His entomological collection occupied any open areas large enough to accept skewered insects. And his Buddy Holly collection consisted of three scritchy albums the talented tunester recorded before dying at 22 when his plane crashed in Iowa. Lester wore black horn-rimmed classes identical to those of the late singer, and considered these a statement to the world that a ”cool” persona existed within his ”bean counter‘s” body. Too, Lester was a college graduate: Penn State, class of ‘78. He maintained a solid ”C” average over four years, and finally earned ”Certified Public Accountant” status on his fifth try. ”Reversing entries are hemorrhoids in the ass of accounting,” he remarked flatly during a first interview with his present employer, who dwelled briefly on his gradepoint average and numerous shots at CPA accreditation. ”They tricked me every time!” In spite of his lackluster academic record, the firm hired Lester and beginning Day One sacrificed him to Bourgeois and 20 other mediocre accounts.
He grossed $2,000 a week for his bosses, and earned slightly less than $500 for himself. Still, the wages kept him in seeds, bowling shoes, stick pins, and a Platinum Buddy Holly Fan Club Membership. Lester‘s favorite word was ”crapola,” and he applied it to the ball bearing factory‘s antiquated data processing system in coats as thick as the olive drab membrane clinging to the smudgy glass before him. ”You piteous piece of crapola!” he‘d hiss at the computer when error messages flashed across its screen or its ancient system locked under the demand of crunching numbers to the tenth decimal point. ”Some day I‘ll throw your sorry ass into one of those melting pots out there!”
Structured Query Language, often referred to as SQL, is a grammar of instructions that allows us to tell a relational database to add, modify or delete data. The key benefit, pardon the pun, of SQL is that it allows us to craft instructions relating large sets of data together. In this way SQL is the natural complement to the single cell and formula based interface of spreadsheets like Microsoft Excel. Imagine you had five hundred appointments from your business calendar laid out in a table. Each appointment might have a day, time, location and description. Now imagine you also had five hundred appointments from your partners business calendar, also each having a day, time, location and description.