Marcelle Chloé May 30, 2021 Spreadsheet
Lester‘s temporary office at the Factory was glassed on all sides, and surrounded by the sights, sounds, searing temperatures, and smells of the smelting and pouring areas. Originally, the cubbyhole had been used for storing coal and coke until the plant converted to gas-fired furnaces in the mid-‘50s. Over the next three decades a succession of plant superintendents used the room to boink their secretaries, which necessitated its windows being painted a squalid olive drab. During 10 years of performing this chore every six months, Lester had scraped two panes clear, so now he could gaze into the murky, smoky, smelly pit outside as he waited for the grinding computer and clackety printer to spit out a stream of spreadsheets.
His entomological collection occupied any open areas large enough to accept skewered insects. And his Buddy Holly collection consisted of three scritchy albums the talented tunester recorded before dying at 22 when his plane crashed in Iowa. Lester wore black horn-rimmed classes identical to those of the late singer, and considered these a statement to the world that a ”cool” persona existed within his ”bean counter‘s” body. Too, Lester was a college graduate: Penn State, class of ‘78. He maintained a solid ”C” average over four years, and finally earned ”Certified Public Accountant” status on his fifth try. ”Reversing entries are hemorrhoids in the ass of accounting,” he remarked flatly during a first interview with his present employer, who dwelled briefly on his gradepoint average and numerous shots at CPA accreditation. ”They tricked me every time!” In spite of his lackluster academic record, the firm hired Lester and beginning Day One sacrificed him to Bourgeois and 20 other mediocre accounts.
Here‘s a very simple budget set up. Keep a simple income spreadsheet. List all the sources by name in column A. List how much each brings in in column B. And then, any notes you have for the income (like if it is temporary) in column C. You don‘t need to get very detailed with the income, because it only needs to be accounted for so that we can budget for it‘s use. And, the incomes use is in our expenses spreadsheet. This spreadsheet will be much more complex than the income one. You‘ll need a field for income that you carry over from the income sheet. You‘ll also need a field for a total expenses budgeted for. A third field will give us the budget surplus. We get that by subtracting the budgeted amounts from the income amount. A final field will subtract the actual amount spent from the income, and will serve to tell us where we stand in our budget. If you like, you can add another field that subtracts the actual amount spent from the amount budgeted.
He was an ex-divorce attorney who had seen firsthand what a messy thing divorce was when lawyers were involved. He developed a program where a couple would meet together, with him present, and work through the divorce piece by piece. Property, finances, kids, pensions. It was a great system. And he was cheap! Relatively speaking. It took about 10 months including some stops and starts (”what do you mean you want some of my inheritance? if you want my inheritance then you STAY married to me”) but in the end we were able to come to terms with each other in a reasonable and fair way.
Lester P. Goodbinder had suffered another agonizing week in Pittsburgh. The semi-annual audit he conducted at the Bourgeois Ball Bearing Factory stretched into five 14-hour days examining electronic spreadsheets on an archaic computer system installed in the early ‘80s. The equipment churned so abysmally he cleverly joked to himself it was powered by lazy hamsters on treadmills. Not only that, the accounting software loaded on the system was an early version of ”Abacus,” and only slightly faster than a key-punch adding machine but considerably slower than a hand-held calculator.
You can go over your budget as often as you like. Some find it easier to enter amounts every day after they‘ve settled in for the day. Others will choose to go over it monthly. Going over it weekly is likely where most will settle though. Occasionally, we‘ll have a surplus or deficit at the end of the month. Perhaps you‘ve spent too much, or not spent all that you thought you would. Spending too much can be troublesome, but not spending as much as you thought can be a lot of fun. You may want to consider adding a budget field carryover in the income sheet and one called shortfall in the expenses sheet. If you spent too much, the amount that you overspent by becomes your budgeted amount for shortfall in your expenses sheet the next month. Didn‘t spend enough, and you put that amount in the carryover field in the income sheet. This will help you keep track of all your money as well as account for any shortfalls.
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