Raison Laly June 5, 2021 Spreadsheet
Lester P. Goodbinder had suffered another agonizing week in Pittsburgh. The semi-annual audit he conducted at the Bourgeois Ball Bearing Factory stretched into five 14-hour days examining electronic spreadsheets on an archaic computer system installed in the early ‘80s. The equipment churned so abysmally he cleverly joked to himself it was powered by lazy hamsters on treadmills. Not only that, the accounting software loaded on the system was an early version of ”Abacus,” and only slightly faster than a key-punch adding machine but considerably slower than a hand-held calculator.
Lester loved his numeric universe, but this was not how he had envisioned his life unfolding; flying hither and thither from his hometown of Hershey to wherever his firm wished to send him. Just because he was 38, single, and still living with his folks didn‘t mean his employer should take advantage of him which, in fact, his company did on a regular basis. After all, Lester had other important interests, too. The ”Four Bs” he called them: Botany, bowling, bugs and Buddy Holly. Myriad plants crowded his tiny room in his parent‘s house, forcibly sucking carbon dioxide out of anyone who entered. Bowling trophies – ranging in size from tiny silver cups to massive bronze edifices shaped like the Empire State Building – claimed space not dominated by flower pots, planter boxes, and hanging baskets.
Lester‘s temporary office at the Factory was glassed on all sides, and surrounded by the sights, sounds, searing temperatures, and smells of the smelting and pouring areas. Originally, the cubbyhole had been used for storing coal and coke until the plant converted to gas-fired furnaces in the mid-‘50s. Over the next three decades a succession of plant superintendents used the room to boink their secretaries, which necessitated its windows being painted a squalid olive drab. During 10 years of performing this chore every six months, Lester had scraped two panes clear, so now he could gaze into the murky, smoky, smelly pit outside as he waited for the grinding computer and clackety printer to spit out a stream of spreadsheets.
If you wanted to make this spreadsheet into template, you would need to take two more steps. The first step would involve modifying the spreadsheet to display only the data that remains the same. If you are constantly changing certain cells, you would leave these cells formatted but blank. The last step involves saving this spreadsheet as a template. Once this is done, you would always have access to a clean spreadsheet that is formatted the way you want and ready for your modifications. Microsoft has hundreds of free templates available. You can also download templates that are already loaded in your version of Excel. They are typically located under the File/New or Office Button/New option. When downloading these business and personal templates, be sure to monitor the version of Office that the template applies to. They have templates available for all of the versions of the Office Suites.
One of the topics I cover on my Advanced Excel courses is hardly ‘advanced‘ at all, but it is a very useful and popular technique with my students. It makes use of the OLE capability to create invoices by embedding Excel data. First you need to create an Excel spreadsheet and format it in an appropriate manner, keeping in mind that this will form the basic structure of your invoice and will eventually be seen by your clients. You don‘t include any Company contact details or logos in the spreadsheet though as these will be incorporated into the Word document. The next step is to lay out the invoice itself in a Word document, based upon your normal Company letterhead. Leave the main body of the document empty as this is where the Excel spreadsheet will be embedded. All you need in this master Word document is your usual Company branding and contact information.
His entomological collection occupied any open areas large enough to accept skewered insects. And his Buddy Holly collection consisted of three scritchy albums the talented tunester recorded before dying at 22 when his plane crashed in Iowa. Lester wore black horn-rimmed classes identical to those of the late singer, and considered these a statement to the world that a ”cool” persona existed within his ”bean counter‘s” body. Too, Lester was a college graduate: Penn State, class of ‘78. He maintained a solid ”C” average over four years, and finally earned ”Certified Public Accountant” status on his fifth try. ”Reversing entries are hemorrhoids in the ass of accounting,” he remarked flatly during a first interview with his present employer, who dwelled briefly on his gradepoint average and numerous shots at CPA accreditation. ”They tricked me every time!” In spite of his lackluster academic record, the firm hired Lester and beginning Day One sacrificed him to Bourgeois and 20 other mediocre accounts.
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