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Nathaly Ambre June 5, 2021 Spreadsheet

Lester P. Goodbinder had suffered another agonizing week in Pittsburgh. The semi-annual audit he conducted at the Bourgeois Ball Bearing Factory stretched into five 14-hour days examining electronic spreadsheets on an archaic computer system installed in the early ‘80s. The equipment churned so abysmally he cleverly joked to himself it was powered by lazy hamsters on treadmills. Not only that, the accounting software loaded on the system was an early version of ”Abacus,” and only slightly faster than a key-punch adding machine but considerably slower than a hand-held calculator.

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Unfortunately an internal rate of return is time dependent so the amount you can withdraw depends on when you take it. Suffice to say, the only way to calculate the amount you can take e.g. halfway through the life of the fund, is by trial and error. If you are evaluating a number of investment opportunities, that can be a very time consuming process. Therefore Microsoft have built the Goal Seek function to aid your spreadsheet development. Since Excel 2007, it has been available from the Data ribbon. In earlier versions of Excel, it was present from the Tools menu. It gets straight to the point. It asks you which value you would like to fix (in this case the investor‘s return), what you would like to fix it to, and asks what you would like to change. All fields can accept cell references. It will then calculate the input through trial and error.

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In a well-designed spreadsheet, any output can be calculated from the raw data. However, that‘s not always enough. Sometimes the output is fixed and the raw data is variable. Let‘s say you run an investment company and want to offer your clients a fixed return. An Excel expert could create a very complex model to calculate the likely return on investments over a fixed period. You could then calculate the internal rate of return being offered to clients. The problem is that you‘re not interested in the return offered to clients; that is, after all, fixed. Instead you‘re concerned with how much money you expect to draw from the investment fund, whilst still offering your investors a satisfactory return. If you have $1 and owe investors a quarter, you can calculate your profits using a simple formula.

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Lester‘s temporary office at the Factory was glassed on all sides, and surrounded by the sights, sounds, searing temperatures, and smells of the smelting and pouring areas. Originally, the cubbyhole had been used for storing coal and coke until the plant converted to gas-fired furnaces in the mid-‘50s. Over the next three decades a succession of plant superintendents used the room to boink their secretaries, which necessitated its windows being painted a squalid olive drab. During 10 years of performing this chore every six months, Lester had scraped two panes clear, so now he could gaze into the murky, smoky, smelly pit outside as he waited for the grinding computer and clackety printer to spit out a stream of spreadsheets.

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He grossed $2,000 a week for his bosses, and earned slightly less than $500 for himself. Still, the wages kept him in seeds, bowling shoes, stick pins, and a Platinum Buddy Holly Fan Club Membership. Lester‘s favorite word was ”crapola,” and he applied it to the ball bearing factory‘s antiquated data processing system in coats as thick as the olive drab membrane clinging to the smudgy glass before him. ”You piteous piece of crapola!” he‘d hiss at the computer when error messages flashed across its screen or its ancient system locked under the demand of crunching numbers to the tenth decimal point. ”Some day I‘ll throw your sorry ass into one of those melting pots out there!”

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Second – Planning your Budget – is this easy or are you going to start over from scratch? If you kept good records and have accurate figures, then you have a great start for you next meeting. It is easy to modify last year‘s information and make changes for this year. That will be necessary for a variety of reasons. You will need it to tell your hotel contact what you want and you will also need it to prepare this year‘s budget. Third – Budgeting Spreadsheet for Meetings – take the easy way out. Use a spreadsheet that will make your job easy. There are excel spreadsheets that can do it for you. Do not waste your time trying to design something that already exists and is proven to save you effort and stress.

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