Carola Oriane June 3, 2021 Spreadsheet
He was an ex-divorce attorney who had seen firsthand what a messy thing divorce was when lawyers were involved. He developed a program where a couple would meet together, with him present, and work through the divorce piece by piece. Property, finances, kids, pensions. It was a great system. And he was cheap! Relatively speaking. It took about 10 months including some stops and starts (”what do you mean you want some of my inheritance? if you want my inheritance then you STAY married to me”) but in the end we were able to come to terms with each other in a reasonable and fair way.
So why does data that inevitably finds its way into a Microsoft Excel spreadsheet often suffer from the problems outlined above. The reasons are many. If the data is imported, it may have been sourced from a combination of other spreadsheets, databases, systems, reports, word documents, emails or web pages. If the data has been entered manually it may have been poorly done so by an inexperienced computer users such as administrative or junior staff with a lack of understanding for data structures. Excel is easy to use and widely accessible, so an inexperienced colleague can quite easily update your spreadsheet with a false sense of confidence and inadvertently enter new data incorrectly. And finally, unlike a fully functional software system, data entry in Excel generally has no automatic validating rules, unless carefully setup by the spreadsheet‘s creator.
Templates are spreadsheets that are pre-formatted with text, colors, and/or formulas. They can be used to save you time and effort. Sometimes you are using a workbook as a template and don‘t even realize it. By this I mean you have a spreadsheet that you use daily, weekly or monthly. You may have to modify a few cells but the remainder of the spreadsheet is exactly the way you want it. It may be tedious to modify the cells but it is easier than recreating it from scratch. Guess what, you have the basis of a template!
The former hangs like a transparent curtain four feet above the floor and shrink-wraps itself to anyone bold enough to attempt passing through. The latter represents a fragrant blend of beer, cheap cologne, and unkempt toilets, and assaults an unsuspecting visitor‘s nose like an aggressive index finger. By Saturday, the fragrance would be pungent enough to cause mere mortals to speak in tongues. Lance led the way with Lester in tow, dodging around dark figures that emerged from the nicotine and odoriferous fog. Lester had difficulty keeping up, licking the lenses of his glasses and tie-drying them as they wove their ways toward diffused light they assumed was the bar area where lusty women awaited.
Microsoft Excel is a phenomenally powerful calculator. You can create spreadsheets with 10,000 lines of data and calculate subtotals instantly. Indeed, if you change your data, any totals will get automatically updated. Arguably that‘s not too impressive. If we have quarterly revenues of $1m, and we secure another $20k, we can update our subtotal without summing revenues from scratch. So it‘s more impressive that Excel can do the same thing with statistical functions. If you‘ve ever plotted a chart on Excel, you may be aware that you can add a best fit line. These best fit lines are calculated using a method known as regression. Basically, you have to calculate the distance of every single point from the line, and minimise the sum. The maths is a little more sophisticated but the key point is that, every time you change the data, you need to perform the analysis all over again.
He grossed $2,000 a week for his bosses, and earned slightly less than $500 for himself. Still, the wages kept him in seeds, bowling shoes, stick pins, and a Platinum Buddy Holly Fan Club Membership. Lester‘s favorite word was ”crapola,” and he applied it to the ball bearing factory‘s antiquated data processing system in coats as thick as the olive drab membrane clinging to the smudgy glass before him. ”You piteous piece of crapola!” he‘d hiss at the computer when error messages flashed across its screen or its ancient system locked under the demand of crunching numbers to the tenth decimal point. ”Some day I‘ll throw your sorry ass into one of those melting pots out there!”
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