Lealia Astrid June 11, 2021 Spreadsheet
You have now created a dynamic link between your Excel spreadsheet and the Word document. That is to say, any changes which you make to the spreadsheet will be reflected within your Word document. Simply right-click the embedded object in Word after editing the spreadsheet and choose ‘update link‘ to see the changes. You will also be given the option to update each time you open the Word invoice.
The former hangs like a transparent curtain four feet above the floor and shrink-wraps itself to anyone bold enough to attempt passing through. The latter represents a fragrant blend of beer, cheap cologne, and unkempt toilets, and assaults an unsuspecting visitor‘s nose like an aggressive index finger. By Saturday, the fragrance would be pungent enough to cause mere mortals to speak in tongues. Lance led the way with Lester in tow, dodging around dark figures that emerged from the nicotine and odoriferous fog. Lester had difficulty keeping up, licking the lenses of his glasses and tie-drying them as they wove their ways toward diffused light they assumed was the bar area where lusty women awaited.
”Happy crapola!” he exclaimed, rising from the rollered chair and scooping accordion folds of printouts into his tattered briefcase. He snatched his worn black suit coat from a hanger on the back of the office door, switched off the fluorescent overheads, and walked to the executive offices in the adjoining building. When his audit week ended, Lester typically teamed with Lance Lott for a tour of the local watering holes. Lance was a marketing guy he‘d met when he first worked the Bourgeois account. Lance also was single, and resembled Keanu Reeves on a bad hair day. Lester considered him a ”chick magnet,” and although he himself never got lucky on their semi-annual expeditions, the other always disappeared with a babe on his arm. Lester decided, tonight would be HIS night.
Structured Query Language, often referred to as SQL, is a grammar of instructions that allows us to tell a relational database to add, modify or delete data. The key benefit, pardon the pun, of SQL is that it allows us to craft instructions relating large sets of data together. In this way SQL is the natural complement to the single cell and formula based interface of spreadsheets like Microsoft Excel. Imagine you had five hundred appointments from your business calendar laid out in a table. Each appointment might have a day, time, location and description. Now imagine you also had five hundred appointments from your partners business calendar, also each having a day, time, location and description.
He grossed $2,000 a week for his bosses, and earned slightly less than $500 for himself. Still, the wages kept him in seeds, bowling shoes, stick pins, and a Platinum Buddy Holly Fan Club Membership. Lester‘s favorite word was ”crapola,” and he applied it to the ball bearing factory‘s antiquated data processing system in coats as thick as the olive drab membrane clinging to the smudgy glass before him. ”You piteous piece of crapola!” he‘d hiss at the computer when error messages flashed across its screen or its ancient system locked under the demand of crunching numbers to the tenth decimal point. ”Some day I‘ll throw your sorry ass into one of those melting pots out there!”
He was an ex-divorce attorney who had seen firsthand what a messy thing divorce was when lawyers were involved. He developed a program where a couple would meet together, with him present, and work through the divorce piece by piece. Property, finances, kids, pensions. It was a great system. And he was cheap! Relatively speaking. It took about 10 months including some stops and starts (”what do you mean you want some of my inheritance? if you want my inheritance then you STAY married to me”) but in the end we were able to come to terms with each other in a reasonable and fair way.
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